Anonymous asked: i'm about to take some time off from college for personal reasons, and i'm wondering if you had any advice/tips for not isolating yourself socially/meeting people in a non-academic environment? i don't really have a lot of friends at home, and i'm worried that i'll be completely disconnected from people my own age.
I would say being able to find a job that allows you to work with the public helps a lot in casting aside social fears and instills, if not a love, then a habit of conversational prowess that’s needed for starting friendships.
The spark of every friendship is ignited when two people can connect on a conversational basis about something they both can feel passionate about. I’ve found that opening myself up to starting conversations with strangers has allowed a certain familiarity with an area and a vibe of camraderie will follow you around that place when people think, “man, I really dig talking with that person, they’re too chill.” Making people feel comfortable around you kick starts a certain level of attachment. Just open yourself up to loving the moment of talking with others. Friendships don’t start right away - this air of comraderie needs to linger around for a bit before actual hanging out takes place, but things like this are different for everyone. Think about all the things you like and actively go about your day trying to pursue them. Going to the gym, an art gallery, a book signing. Then, when people ask you what you did that day, you can tell them, and their interest may be piqued and they’ll ask if they can join you next time. For example, if someone talks about how much they love surfing and haven’t been to the beach in ages, you could respond, “yeah, I really feel you, I haven’t been there in a while myself.” “I know dude, I really miss it.” “Fuck it, let’s go!” etc.
Just love getting to know people and exploring their minds. Don’t be afraid to have fun with talking and asking light-hearted questions. A good conversation is like a skilled game of volley ball. It’s funny, because once I got to college… I never really made any friends there. It was always through work or parties that my friends would invite me to where I’d be talking with others, other people would join in, Facebook happens and bam, plans are made and friendships have an official contracted seal. Just be light hearted.. putting out that vibe of good naturedness draws other people to you. They want to share in your good mood, they want to bask in how interesting you are, they want to laugh with you and talk about concepts if they’re of the right kind of mind. It takes time, but don’t be too hard on yourself about it. Just hone your own interests first and the rest will inevitably follow.