Anonymous asked: re: your post dec.23 "why am I the way that I am". I know you've posted about previous relationships in the past, so I ask you: how do you move past this roadblock & go on to successful dates ect? I feel like a bumbling idiot who should have dated more in high school, so I could have sorted this shit out already. Whenever it happens, I give up completely on said boy out of shame for myself & my actions. I don't want to send mixed messages! I DO like you back, cute boy at work! halp!

I think the best advice I was ever given in regards to the art of flirting was this: don’t think of men as potential love interests. Eradicate that thought from your mind entirely. Instead, think of them as good friends, and treat them as good friends with no expectations or fantasies about how this is going to benefit you in the future. Live in the now with them in terms of conversation, and most of your anxiety will disappear. Not only that, but men are huge narcissists (luv u guys) and any hint of interest on your part is often times blown up as “desperation” in their minds - so when you come at them from a calm, platonic standpoint, they’re way more likely to think of you in higher regard for whatever dumb ass reason, but that’s always been my experience. 

Eventually, when some platform of casual friendship is established, little hints of ~*I like you*~ help. Nothing Cosmo says works at all, trust me. Not on people actually worth while and with depth to them. Lingering eye contact and brief bodily contact are really what works with me, as well as leaving little hints with mutual friends because it WILL get back to them and plant a seed in their mind, just be mindful about what you say and keep it subtle. 

Then it’s just a question of you either approaching them or him approaching you. That can go either way and there’s no predicting the currants of how that’s going to work out. I’ve always preferred being patient and letting them approach me - I feel that it allows them to come to terms with their feelings for me, confirm it within themselves, and them actually taking the initiative to do this leads to less wishy washy-ness in the future. Typically, but not always. 

And dude, I didn’t date at ALL in high school except one dude, so it’s not even that! It’s never too late to get your game on. Fuck, some people that dated consistently throughout their teen years and twenties and that are in their forties now STILL don’t even have a proper grasp on “succeeding” at dating. It’s all a question of being intuitive, and strong willed about what you want and what you won’t tolerate, but being a chilled out person about everything else.