Compliments from romantic suitors I will always take with a mountain truck of salt, but I think it’s depressing to think that someone would never throw you a genuine compliment. You’re deserving of them.
This quote reminded me of you:
The problem, as I see it, is that a sad percentage of gorgeous women just settle for being gorgeous. They get to sixteen, go, 'Well, I'm gorgeous, people like me, that's it,' and just stop. They've got nothing on the girls who struggle onward with zits and bad dates, the girls who fight life every step of the way so by the time they're twenty they're funny and smart and cynical and utterly, utterly desirable.
That's what I like.
Man, I got this message over a month ago and I still don’t know how to respond to it. Thank you, broski. I appreciate not being called shallow, and I consciously try to combat any of those unsavory qualities. It’s really easy for anyone to be born with whatever advantage - whether it’s wealth, cultivating their wit by being born into a family of intellectuals, or whatever, and to coast off of that is essentially a given, butI respect people that willingly decide to not let shit that they never even worked for to be the defining part of their personalities. There’s a strong and stubborn streak of independence there that I appreciate. I also think “”“”suffering”“”“, as it were, really gives way to life experience and deepens the mind to the point where you can’t be this irreverent idiot taking advantage of everything and everyone and it generally gives a solemness to the spirit that’s also respectable. I don’t know man. I can’t take compliments well at all but thanks homie.
I have a friend who got angry when I said I loved Kanye West. She called him "a disgusting human being". I normally don't tell my friends what I ~really like~ because of responses like this. She even said she was disappointed in me. I wanted to stick up for why I did because I know she only has no specific knowledge in his music or his personal life. But somehow, I was shocked by the vehemence in her response and also wanted to laugh. It happened awhile back, but I don't like leaving it unresolved. Especially because she made me feel.. like it was wrong for loving him. I guess I wanted to ask for advice. I'm not particularly eloquent and she always has a 'my opinions > yours' type vibe when I try to discuss things with her so I'm not sure how to approach it...
FUCK THAT TRICK. No, I’m just kidding. But seriously, she kind of sounds like an asshole - the kind of asshole that hates Kanye because he ruined an infantile white girls moment at an awards show that is notorious for being the height of ridiculous and has zero prestige in the real world whatsoever, which reeks of bigotry because if someone like.. Zach Braff interrupted Beyonce at the VMAs, everyone would see it has this ~funny, ironic, white boy~ little stunt and would hardly vilify him for something of an identical nature.
I remember after the VMAs happened, I was going to the beach with two of my white friends and I had the coveted honor of DJing with my iPod on the way there. Everything was going great until I decided to follow up the previous song with Flashing Lights. The second the opening notes came on, both of them turned to me with an angry, scandalized expression on their faces and said, “ew, no! Change the fucking song, Sam! I hate him!” I knew exactly why they were doing that, and I laughed, and I mock defensively said, “but he’s a genius!” “No! He’s an asshole! I won’t listen to him in this car!”
Honestly, she’s just being fucking ridiculous and you shouldn’t take her opinions on Kanye seriously because you know they’re coming from such an irrational place to begin with, so her disappointment in you is completely stupid and has zero merit as a result. If this was a while ago.. there is honestly no point in bringing it up again because it’s going to sound a little silly (“dude, okay, remember that one time a year ago when you said you were disappointed in me for liking Kanye West? WELL….”), but the next time she does that again, and you mentioned she has a history in doing this, shut her down by not taking it seriously. Laugh at her, dude. Because she is being a dumbass, and that speaks louder then any eloquent tearing down of her will because she’s only going to get more defensive and pissed at you given the person I’m envisioning in my mind with the details you gave me. I know That Person SO WELL, and you just forever have to take their indignation with a grain of salt. Also, those two girls I went to the beach with in the car? I haven’t spoken to them in forEVER for completely different, non-Kanye West related reasons, because they were just petty motherfuckers and drained my energy with their superiority. So maybe you should reconsider your friendship with her for other reasons? That’s the best I can give you, man. Good luck!
This is the sound of the aurora on Saturn. Pretty eerie, no?
There is no sound in space. Outside planets and stars, molecules are spread out too thin for sound to propagate. It follows, then, that we can’t really hear sounds planets emit into space. But radio waves—electromagnetic waves with wavelengths longer than infrared light—are, as we know, handy for representing sound. And so it makes sense for us to interpret radio waves, whether originally encoding sound or not, as sound. These are radio waves emitted in conjunction with auroras around Saturn’s poles, similar to the northern and southern lights on Earth. They were picked up by the Cassini spacecraft and then interpreted as sound. But the sound was not in the audible range, so it has been downshifted by a factor of 44. And finally, so as not to bore us to death, it has been speeded up by a factor of 22. Realize, then, that many human choices were made in order for us to be able to “listen to space.” But if you can accept that, you can enjoy this.
I’ve been in a shitty mood all month so I was thinking about what I gleaned from my relationships (whether significantly romantic ones or significantly platonic ones) with ~men primarily, and it keeps everything in perspective that even though things didn’t work out the way I idealized in my mind, it still gave me so many beneficial tools for myself and for the future.
R.P. - my 10th grade literature teacher that took me under his wing as his favorite student - after emerging from a traumatizing childhood and on the ending cycle of my drug addiction, I learned that there was in fact a vast reservoir of value in my mind and I had a lot of untapped potential. He helped me to become eloquent, gave me a deep love of classical literature, showed me that I was deserving of not only favoritism, but a sincerely, fatherly love. The experience deeply changed me, and I owe him everything for laying the groundwork on helping me become a sane human being. Platonic physical affection no longer repulsed me afterward.
First Boyfriend - Got me out of my anti-social shell, made me realize that I absolutely have to have a naturally outgoing partner to bring out the best in me. He made me realize that being intelligent was nothing to be ashamed of because it separated me by making me different given my age with my peers at the time, and he showed me how to make it work for me. He made me realize that I had nothing to be ashamed of for having a naturally built-in, strong personality - but he also noted that it was important to be subtle about it and not some obnoxious, pretentious show off. He made me value sensitivity and how it should be treated with tenderness. Even though I ruined this relationship, it greatly taught me the value of compromise if you’re also being met halfway by your partner. He made me understand the value of unconditional love, and the torture that follows when the feeling isn’t returned. I learned that just because you love someone it doesn’t mean they’re indebted to return it back. Love because you want to, not because you have an expectation there. I also realized that intelligence isn’t everything when looking for a partner. There needs to be a stronger sense of character in their spine, and how actions always speak louder then words. Intentions mean nothing if there is no mobility to implement them.
The Person I Dated For Over A Year Long Afterward - Through him I understood the value in treating dating with a joyful nonchalance. Things don’t always have to be Really Serious to have value. Bask in the current moment of joy and soak in all that the experience has to offer. It is actually OKAY if it doesn’t turn into something substantial down the line so long you’re well aware of them and are not secretly invested in such. It was such an important lesson and helped me in becoming a more ~carefree person and ridding myself of a lot of unnecessary seriousness regarding relationships. Take things as they come without the burden of the future crushing onto you.
M.S.A - An extremely good friend of mine. Through him I understood that just because you’re great friends with similar values and look pretty good together.. that does not make chemistry. Chemistry is a mysterious fucking force that cannot be roused by will. I learned the hard way that dating your friend because you hope to conjure up chemistry between you two is just so not fair to the other person if they’re actually invested and have made up chemistry in their minds regarding the dating process. I also realized I can’t date overtly sensitive, deeply sentimental people. I can’t navigate those waters and we just don’t speak the same language.
R.F. - Oh my God, just the combination of everything above? It was perfection, the chemistry was everything one could have imagined, I genuinely learned that age really isn’t anything but a number so long as you both have the same value systems, genre of maturity and sense of humor to roll with the punches, I finally comprehended the value of soldiers and the sacrifices they make, I understood that the people I used to romantically humor were SO fucking arrogant and unjustly so because they were pretentious fucks that did not understand the concept of sacrifice - I realized that character means EVERYTHING (there is nothing but character at the end of the day, to paraphrase Humphrey Bogart), and even though you can handle everything well, communicate properly to the very best of your ability, and be an upstanding person, but inevitably if the past has a choke hold on you, it will win no matter what. There is no formula to have the perfect romantic outcome - things just happen regardless, no matter what. The lesson I really took home with me is that even if you’re a great person, if you don’t allow yourself to think you’re deserving of happiness, life doesn’t owe you anything and will not force anything great upon you unless you’re really ready for it.
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”—Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum (via uponswallows)