I’ll never understand people who don’t drink alcohol
Maybe they know what alcohol can do to people, maybe they fear liver failure, maybe they had a family member or friend that died from an alcohol related accident, maybe they don’t feel the need or desire to drink, it’s really not that hard to comprehend.
I think tumblr has left a lot of us emotionally stunted. This is a great community for empowerment, catharsis, or coping, but those things aren’t recovery in and of themselves. Comparatively, they’re easy when compared to the painful self-reflection and real-world scenarios you’ll have to encounter on the road to true recovery. Not only does Tumblr not focus enough on recovery, but there’s almost a disdain here for the very notion.
There’s a lot of time spent validating everything. “Your symptoms are valid! Your responses are valid! Your depression is valid! Your coping is valid!” Well, yeah, all that stuff is definitely valid, and understanding that is important step in recovery, but it’s certainly not the final step. All that stuff is valid in the same way a baby chewing on a teething ring is valid, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about if your recovery is still in its infancy, but Tumblr almost encourages you to stay there, to never grow out of it.
There’s a difference between what’s valid and what’s healthy, what’s best for you. I recently saw a post that validated people who stay in their room all day. Is that a valid response to anxiety? Sure. Is it a healthy response? Hell no, and there isn’t a person on Earth who can convincingly make the argument that the best thing you can do for your anxiety is to never leave your room.
Or how about those “how to care for a _________” posts? They’ve got some great tips there, and a lot of what they say is true, but you cannot reasonably expect people to coddle your issues, insecurities, or self-perceived inadequacies. Your recovery has to come from you. It has to be a difficult decision you make with yourself and carry through with because you need it. Your recovery can’t come from hoping other people will validate you.
No one should be ashamed of where they are in their recovery process, but there’s also no reason why you should be in the same place with your issues as you were in 2010.
Your final goal is not validation. It isn’t empowerment. It isn’t finding a way to get through the day. It isn’t being comfortable with your problems, nor is it accepting that they’ll never go away. The final goal is health. The final goal is happiness. The final goal is contentment. The final goal is recovery.
this is so incredibly harmful.
recovery from trauma never, ever means that the trauma or the effects of trauma go away. they never, ever go away.
ptsd doesn’t go away. abuse doesn’t go away. sexual abuse doesn’t go away. anxiety and clinical depression never go away. physical and emotional disabilities are not fixable, they are not erasable, they are not obstacles on the path to recovery.
it is so incredibly wrong-headed and harmful to tell people with intractable issues that their end goal should be no longer living with these issues.
recovery as a set end-point is impossible. you will never, ever be in a state where these things no longer have an impact on your behavior or mental state.
you recover. you are never recovered.
you will never get your childhood back. your parents will always be exactly who they always have been. loud noises will always frighten you. confrontations will always frighten you. you will dissociate. you will panic. you will lash out. you will shut down.
But you will always and forever be doing better than you were than when you were in the middle of your trauma.
You will dissociate, and you will find ways to get yourself somewhere safe and bring yourself back.
You will panic, and you will use the techniques you have learned to talk yourself down, you will use your support system to provide you with support.
You will lash out, and you will calm down and apologize and make amends.
You will protect yourself from violence. You will protect yourself from toxicity. And all of these things and more will be you recovering and you getting better. You will find ways to get through the day. You will find ways to empower yourself. You will encounter messages like the one above, ones that stamp on your efforts and stamp on your recovery and shit all over what you have been doing and the steps you have made, and you will recognize that it was written by someone who has never been broken down and hastily (and badly) re-assembled by trauma.
They don’t live with this.
You are living, you are alive, and you are recovering.
“October arrived, spreading a damp chill over the grounds and into the castle. Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, was kept busy by a sudden spate of colds among the staff and students. Raindrops the size of bullets thundered on the castle windows for days on end; the lake rose, the flower beds turned into muddy streams, and Hagrid’s pumpkins swelled to the size of garden sheds.”—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (via worldfallsdown)
we’ve taught girls to romanticise nearly everything a boy does. when i was younger i thought it was cute that boys chased the girl even after she said no. i loved it when after a girl moved away from a kiss, the guy would pull her back and force it on. i thought a guy saying ‘i won’t take a no for an answer’ was passionate and romantic. we’re literally always teaching girls to romanticise abusive traits.
“Your brain is wired for survival, not happiness. That is why it keeps bringing up negative emotions, past mistakes and worries about the future. Because of this wiring, you can get stuck in repetitive cycles of self-criticism, worry and fear that interfere with your ability to enjoy the present moment.”—Why anxiety is so hard to manage (via tywin)
do you have any morel inks about what's happening in mexico? im part of a club at my school where we focus on international affairs and problems and id like to present something about it but i feel like i dont know enough yet
What is happening in Mexico?
How it began
On September 26, students our age (~19-22) were attacked by the local police and gangs in Iguala, Guerrero in Mexico. They were studying to become teachers at Escuela Normal Rural de Ayotzinapa. I have read many articles about how the students were in the town to ask for money to help pay tuition, to protest discrimination of rural school teachers, to travel to commemorate another student massacre of 1986, etc., so I am unsure of what is what here. But the students were on the buses and police blocked their way to get the students out. When they did, they opened fire on the students at once. Some students threw rocks back in self-defense, but the students were unarmed. Six people died and 17 were injured. Three students died, a taxi driver, a woman in a taxi, and a football player that was just 15 years old (x). The injured were taken away by an ambulance, local journalists came, etc but it was not over as more men came in plain clothes and rifles (x). These men are apart of Guerreros Unidos and work for the Beltran Leyva cartel. The students were forced into police vans and have since disappeared. 43 students are missing.
Some of the students escaped by hiding in nearby houses. One terrified student tried running away, but he was found later yet with his eyes gouged out and his face completely sliced away to the bone. A YOUNG MAN only 19 years old suffered through this. (As a warning, be aware that there are photos online and that while searching deep through articles and tags, they are present.) A survivor of the attack says this is “symbol of the cartel assassins” (x).
22 local policemen have been detained for suspicion of working with Guerreros Unidos. This is how authorities were then tipped on what has happened to some students. (x) (x)
The Mass Graves
~ More than a week later, on Saturday, authorities found mass graves nearby that has 28 burned remains with the tips (x). We fear that this may be some of the students. We won’t have DNA analysis to confirm anything for another two weeks, if not longer.
MORE mass graves were found yesterday, but it is still unknown about how many remains these graves have (x).
Keep in mind that the CITY MAYOR AND HIS WIFE are on the RUN. No one knows where they are.
We still don’t understand the reason behind this violence. Why kidnap and kill these young men? There are several explanations online, but how do you explain something like this? One story is that the mayer’s wife was giving a speech that day and did not want to be disrupted by the students. Keep in mind that the wife is the head of the city’s family welfare department and also has family connections to cartels (x). There are other alternatives online, but I don’t know. I just don’t.
You cannot be silent about what is happening in Mexico
You can’t. You just can’t. Social media has a big impact and this story has to spread. In the last 24 hours I have seen an incredible boost in coverage about Ayotzinapa.
On Wednesday, thousands protested the disappearance of the students in Mexico.
Amounting pressure is being put on the Mexican government to find the missing students. There is also added outrage and demand ‘to punish politicians linked to organized crime’. It is no shock when considering the police corruption and brutality in Mexico. As Mexico bleeds, we all bleed.
Americans cannot ignore the violence of drug cartels and place it as just a problem in Mexico. There is too much innocent bloodshed. And because BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of dollars are collected in the United States by Mexican drug cartels, it is a shared responsibility (x). CHILDREN ARE DYING. Do not skim over these articles, do not just read them and do nothing, you have to act and spread the information. Do not be silent. Please, please, please help and pay attention.